The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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