week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
