New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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