Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
