like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize