I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
