you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize