She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
