Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize