You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
