totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
