I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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