super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
