He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
