I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
