Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
