I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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