A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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