Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
