You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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