just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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