and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
