I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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