WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize