where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
if only i could text you this smell
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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