My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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