I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Never underestimate the power of titties
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
