Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
