He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
