Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT