Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
