omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.