Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself

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(217): View more from Illinois

he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

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(647): View more from Ontario

Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her

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(515): View more from Iowa

just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.

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(251): View more from Alabama

So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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(713): View more from Texas

Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.

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(607): View more from New York

It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.

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