I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
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well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
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Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.