YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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