Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?