drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
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If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
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I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something