I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
