I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
