i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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