he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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