How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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