no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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