you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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