The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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