If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
