I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
