I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
