woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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