i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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