someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
