So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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