It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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