Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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