I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
