I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i came on her dog
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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