Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
