He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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