he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
