her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
