I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have fence marks all over my body
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
