Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
