The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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