Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
