At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Jerry, you need to find god
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize