what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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