Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
