im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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