im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
