I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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